so i’m out of the running for a “post every day” december. i couldn’t be more content about it, though. i spent another night away from my apartment last night, because i was tired, and cold, and didn’t want to leave the company i had. i got to wake up monday morning smiling, warm, and laughing.
i’m so glad the week started off that way. even the drive home this morning at 6:45 was nice, with the radio off, thinking about how happy i woke up.
my favorite person at work resigned today. it was not a good situation, and i’m so glad for her. but i’m not sure what my week will hold. i’m working hard to stay mellow about everything.
with that, i think i’ll jump back into reverbing before i go to bed.
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Reverb10 was led last year by Gwen Bell, Kaileen Elise, and Cali Harris, to celebrate life and mourn losses. I answered about 5 prompts. This year, I’m creating my own Reverb11. It is a month-long challenge, to blog every day of December, reflect on 2011, and think about 2012. Feel free to answer my prompts or share your own.
Today’s prompt – ELIMINATE: What are five things your life doesn’t need in 2012?
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- worry – this falls in with stress. why do it? [except for the fact that i simply can't help it.] nothing gets solved, and i just sink lower and lower. today is too good of an example for me. i’m trying. i just have to shake things off and say ok; things will be fine however they work out; stop.
- guilt – sometimes i feel a little crippling guilt for things that weren’t really my fault, or that i couldn’t have done much to help otherwise. let’s call it the way i was raised. there’s no reason i should keep this going, if i’m doing what i want to do, and making an effort not to hurt anyone else. that’s all i can hope for.
- negativity – when someone gets under my skin, i let them stay there for a while. it’s easier to stay annoyed, or angry, or overall disgusted. but i don’t like how i feel holding onto these feelings. and if i’m keeping my mouth shut about it [which is happening less and less], it’s only hurting me. when i meditate more often, it’s easier to let go.
- immobility – whatever my situation, i feel permanence in it. instead of rationalizing it, or taking steps to get rid of it, i automatically think i need to make the best of it because that’s just how it is. it adds to my lack of movement. i know most people tend to hesitate instead of jumping into things. but sometimes i do it too much for my liking. nothing in life is permanent. i know this is true in a negative way, but i’ll work on it in a positive way, too.
- drama - gwen talked beautifully about giving up drama. i grew up on the wb; shows full of relationships with kids too young, using incredibly large vocabulary, overthinking, overanalyzing, and holding way too many grudges against each other. i didn’t socialize much when i was young, and i accidentally learned a bit from these shows. aside from a ballin’ vocabulary, i tend to take things a little too seriously sometimes. p. is showing me how to take offense less often. he shows me the parts of myself i love most, and reminds me when i should let go of other parts. drama: i’m ready to kick it.